Ever felt like you and your partner were speaking different languages when it comes to sexual desires and pleasures? Do you crave deeper intimacy and connection in your romantic life? If so, you're not alone. Understanding your Erotic Blueprint™ Type can be the key to unlocking a world of sexual satisfaction, self-awareness, and fulfilling connections with your partner(s). In this article, Relationships Coach Shelley will delve into the concept of Erotic Blueprints™. Keep reading to explore the five distinct Erotic Blueprint™ Types.
Use this article to help understand what the Erotic Blueprint™ Types are, and what type you might be.     This article can help you navigate the intricate landscape of human desire and pleasure.

48% of people in in long-term, serious relationships, are not satisfied with their sex lives! That’s surprising considering they’ve likely found someone who should know them well. If you’re feeling unsatisfied in the bedroom, you’re not alone. In this article we’ll explain the five distinct Erotic Blueprint™ Types. This article can help people better understand what they need to feel fulfilled in the bedroom.

​In our world, personal growth and self-awareness are highly valued. It's essential not to neglect the exploration of your own sexuality and erotic pleasure. This can be accomplished by learning about The Erotic Blueprints™.
The Erotic Blueprints™ are essentially a personality type based on your sexual preferences.
Maybe you’ve heard of love languages before? “Love languages” is a term describing common ways that we show our friends, family, and relationship partner(s) that we care about them. There are five common love languages. Many people find one or more love languages meaningful.
The five love languages are: words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, and receiving gifts. Learn more about the five love languages.
Love languages are shown through the actions you take to show others you care for them. Love languages are also seen through the actions that others do to you that you appreciate.
I identify with the quality time and receiving gifts love languages. I feel good when I spend time with my friends or family. I feel fulfilled. As for receiving gifts, the gifts don’t need to be expensive!  A small charm for a necklace, or a vase of flowers, shows me I was thought of today. I love to receive gifts as much as I love to give gifts. Gifts aren't so much about price as they are about the meaning.
It’s entirely possible that the people you love do not share the same preferred love languages. Many couples and friends feel unappreciated. This is because the people in their lives aren’t providing them with the type of love that’s most meaningful to them.
Sharing the same love language as your partner is convenient, but isn’t necessary so long as good communication and reciprocation are present. Understanding your love language allows you to understand yourself. It's also a great way to communicate your needs.
The 5 Erotic Blueprints™ are like the five Love Languages. They can help us understand more about ourselves and our desires. They're also helpful in knowing the desires of our partner(s).
Once we know about ourselves, we’re more easily able to ask for what we need in our relationships. Both personality types can impact your romantic relationship(s). The biggest difference though is that while love languages can be for platonic and romantic love, the Erotic Blueprints™ are all about sexual love and wants. Let’s dive into the five Erotic Blueprint™ Types.

At surface level, the five Erotic Blueprint™ Types are:

• Energetic
• Sensual
• Sexual
• Kinky
• Shapeshifter

​Let’s explore each of five Erotic Blueprint™ Types in more detail. 

Those with an Energetic Blueprint find arousal in the anticipation, space, and teasing that precedes physical touch. 

They possess heightened sensitivity. Many Energetics require time to assimilate to sexual contact. For these individuals, building erotic tension through teasing touch, eye contact, and matching breath is essential. Energetics can experience full-body orgasms without genital touch!  They need a sense of safety to maintain arousal. It's important to guard against distractions that can disrupt their delicate balance. You might be an Energetic if any of these relate to you. Find out your Erotic Blueprint™ Type now.

Toys such as feathers and essential oils can enhance their pleasure. For those that find energy in crystals, gemstone toys are great. 

Too much stimulation too quickly can be a turn-off. Energetics may easily become overwhelmed. They may struggle from carrying emotional baggage from others. Continuous touch may lead to overwhelm, which can turn painful. Setting boundaries is crucial to prevent disassociation. 

​Sensuals are all about engaging their five senses—sight, smell, hearing, taste, and touch—during sexual encounters. 

​They can enjoy prolonged waves of pleasure when deeply immersed in their senses. Creating the right ambiance is crucial for Sensuals. They prefer to use various forms of touch, beautiful settings, music, and relaxation to heighten their experiences. The lead-up and follow-through are almost as important. This could be considered “setting the mood” with a nice candle-lit dinner. Or this could include playing nice music during aftercare. You might be a Sensual if any of these relate to you. Find out your Erotic Blueprint™ Type now. 

​Sensation play, and the use of blindfolds can be especially stimulating for them! The use of fabrics is another way to ignite their senses. Experiment with different clothing options, or bedsheet fabrics. 

Sensuals may struggle to get out of their heads. They may need to be in the ‘perfect’ environment to become aroused. They can easily become distracted. This is especially true if they’re haunted by the elusive orgasm. 
If you or your partner are a woman, read my recent article. Learn more about female anatomy and the orgasm.

The Sexual Blueprint is all about pursuing orgasm. For them, sex serves as a route to relaxation or fulfilling a basic need. 

​Arousal is easy for these individuals. It can be accomplished through genital stimulation. For many Sexuals, sex is fun and relaxing. They likely appreciate explicit visuals, dirty talk, and penetration. Orgasms are the goal. You might be a Sexual if any of these relate to you. Find out your Erotic Blueprint™ Type now. 

​Most Sexuals love toys that go on or around the erogenous zones. Spice up your game by experimenting with Bluetooth toys!  

Those with a Sexual Blueprint can focus on genital touch, which could lead to a lack of exploration and variety. In addition, they may have a habit of becoming overly focused on achieving orgasm. This can cause them to miss the journey with their partners. Not every partner wants sexual pleasure to be a race. Many Sexuals may experience shame if they don't orgasm. 

Kink enthusiasts find arousal in the “taboo”. This could include being excited by power dynamics, pushing boundaries, and exploring psychological, sensory, or fetish-based kinks. 

​The allure of unconventional desires and experiences intrigues those with kinky inclinations. They find excitement in scenarios or behaviors different from societal norms. The “taboo” they’re aroused by can be different for each person. However, it’s based around one commonship: doing something that society would tell them they’re “not supposed to do” feels great. Those with the Kinky Blueprint tend to incorporate a significant degree of fantasy into their sexual encounters. They may relish the space for role-play scenarios. You might be a Kinky if any of these relate to you. Find out your Erotic Blueprint™ Type now. 

​Depending on a Kinky’s preferences, sensation toys are a great option. Think paddles and chains for something a little heavier. Bondage toys are also great. 

​Shame often accompanies the Kinky Blueprint. Kinkys may feel guilty for their desires. Sharing these desires can be challenging, especially if they've faced negative reactions from past partners. Safe exploration and open communication are essential! 

Shapeshifters are highly adaptable and enjoy a variety of sexual experiences. They have a broad capacity for pleasure and are open to exploration. 

They possess an intense desire for variety. Fresh and novel experiences are essential to satisfy the cravings of those with the Shapeshifter blueprint. Shapeshifters may find that they need to “mix things up in the bedroom”. Many shapeshifters create a sexual bucket list for themselves. You might be a Shapeshifter if any of these relate to you. Find out your Erotic Blueprint™ Type now.

Shapeshifters may benefit from assembling a broad sexual toolkit. This toolkit could include a variety of toys, accessories, clothing, and more. Shapeshifters prefer to keep the experience open and engaging. 

Shapeshifters can become overwhelmed by their adaptability. This causes them to lose focus and feel too complex for their partners. They may struggle with people-pleasing tendencies. Difficulty in asserting their own desires is another commonship. They may carry many of the same turn-offs associated with other Blueprints. 

Curious what your Erotic Blueprint™ Type is?
Your Erotic Blueprint™ is your sexual personality type. Identifying and understanding your Erotic Blueprint™ Type can have profound effects on your sexual satisfaction, self-awareness, and connection with your partner(s). Just as you have unique love languages, you also possess distinct ways of experiencing pleasure and desire.
Knowing your primary and secondary Erotic Blueprints™ allows you to communicate your needs and desires with confidence. It helps you and your partner(s) make informed choices in the bedroom. This allows you both to foster deeper intimacy and more satisfying sexual experiences.

Take the Erotic Blueprints™ Quiz to discover your Erotic Blueprints™ Type and learn more spicy details about yourself.
Taking the Erotic Blueprints™ Quiz can help you better understand all your unique turn-ons and turn-offs. This can do wonders for you and your partner(s) in bed. Your quiz results may also help give you language that you can use to better describe your needs and desires to those you’re intimately involved with. This can lead to better sexual pleasure for you both.
Along with offering the Erotic Blueprints™ course, I also offer Erotic Blueprints events. They’re fun and educational events where you get to explore the various Erotic Blueprint™ Types. See when our next Erotic Blueprints™ event is. 

Sex education is a vital aspect of personal growth and well-being. Sadly, traditional sex education can fall short. It fails to address individual desires and boundaries. Worst of all, it doesn't address the complexities of human sexuality. Great sex education is free of shame. It empowers people to make informed, satisfying choices.
Find a mentor, sexuality educator, or relationships coach who can guide you through this journey. A trustworthy mentor can help you understand your sexual style. This will help you build lasting connections with partners and navigate the intricacies of erotic pleasure.
Having insight on your Erotic Blueprint™ is a powerful step. It creates a more fulfilling and passionate sex life. Embracing your unique desires allows you to effectively communicate them with your partner(s). You can unlock more in your relationship. Enjoy a deeper level of intimacy, satisfaction, and success in your relationships. Take the time to discover your Erotic Blueprint™. Embark on a journey to a more satisfying and pleasurable sexual experience!

​In this article we’ll cover everything about the clitoris, including the average size, how large a clitoris can get, cultural preferences, the clitoris anatomy, its placement, its impact on the female orgasm, and more. Plus, keep reading to see the length of the largest clitoris!
Human fascination with sex has led to a curious exploration of sexual records throughout history. From the largest and smallest genitalia to bizarre aphrodisiacs and unusual contraception methods, societies have shown a keen interest in documenting and discussing sexual anatomy and practices.
Moreover, modern-day expectations and perceptions surrounding labial and clitoral lengths have raised concerns about body image and self-acceptance. The worst part, is there’s not much education on the topic. It seems that there are forces in this world who would like us to live years thinking there is something wrong with our body. I’ve experienced this myself. When I was younger, I thought my doctor or gynecologist would have some answers. I was wrong, and often left those appointments instead feeling bad I had even asked.
It took me years of education and study to get to the place I am now. Today, I’m going to share that knowledge with you.
As a society, we know plenty about male anatomy. It’s time for us to learn more about female anatomy! In this article, we delve into the intriguing world of sexual records, explore clitoral size's historical and cultural importance, and shed light on the normal variations of female anatomy. We even cover the length of the largest clitoris!
Please note: As a relationship coach, I try to create an inclusive space, and recognize that every body is unique. Some women don’t have this anatomy, and some men do have this anatomy. For simplicity’s sake, I will be referring to the anatomy described in this article as “female anatomy”, as it describes the anatomy that most people assigned female at birth are born possessing. Please let me know if you have questions, concerns, or feedback in the comments.

In a 1992 study of 200 women, it was found that the average clitoris head was about 3.4 mm across (although, this could easily range from 2.4 mm – 4.4 mm), and the average length was about 16.0 mm tall (although, this could easily range from 11.7 mm – 20.3 mm). The visible part of the clitoris is about the size of a green pea. 

The clitoris is a small, highly sensitive, and erectile organ located in the female genitalia. It plays a central role in sexual arousal and pleasure. Despite its relatively small size from the outside, the clitoris is a complex structure. It’s larger under the skin.
Believe it or not, there are seven main parts of the clitoris! This includes the glans, hood, shaft, crura, corpora cavernosa, vestibular bulbs, and many nerve endings. Learn more about each of these pieces:

• Glans: The visible part of the clitoris, located at the top of the vulva, just above the urethral opening. It is typically covered by a fold of skin known as the “clitoral hood”.
• Clitoral hood: Also known as the “prepuce”, this fold of skin covers and protects the clitoral glans. The clitoral hood is analogous to the foreskin in males, covering and enclosing the person’s sensitive glans.
• Shaft: The shaft of the clitoris extends from the glans and is hidden beneath the clitoral hood. It contains erectile tissue that can become engorged with blood during sexual arousal, causing the clitoris to become more sensitive and enlarged.
• Corpora cavernosa: These two chambers have erectile tissue that fill with blood when excited. On average, the corpora cavernosa is about 5 inches long.
• Crura: These are two elongated internal structures that extend from the sides of the clitoral shaft and run along the pelvic bone. They are essentially the roots corpora cavernosa and clitoris, and are made up of erectile tissue.
• Vestibular bulbs: These are two structures located on either side of the vaginal opening, beneath the skin. During sexual arousal, they can become engorged with blood, contributing to increased sensitivity and lubrication.
• Nerve endings: The clitoris has an extensive network of nerve endings. The clitoris has about 15,000 nerve endings, to be exact! This makes it one of the most sensitive areas in the female body. Stimulation of the clitoris can lead to sexual pleasure and orgasm.

Here’s a labeled diagram of what the clitoris looks like under the skin. 

I’m sure you’ll notice that terms like “glans” and “shaft” are also used to describe the anatomy of a penis. There’s a lot more similarities to biologically male and female bodies than we are aware! 

The primary function of the clitoris is to provide sexual pleasure and arousal. When a person with a clitoris becomes sexually aroused, the erectile tissue in the clitoral shaft and glans becomes engorged with blood. This leads to increased sensitivity. Stimulation of the clitoris, either directly or indirectly, can lead to pleasurable sensations and sexual climax, or orgasm.
It is important to note that the clitoris serves no reproductive function by itself. This is different than the penis in males, which also plays a role in urination, and has a reproductive function to deliver sperm. The clitoris’ sole purpose is to provide sexual pleasure, highlighting the significance of pleasure in human sexual experiences.
Although the clitoris does not serve a reproductive function on its own, there is something to be said about how if sex wasn’t pleasurable, we probably wouldn’t have kept doing it over thousands of centuries!

The quest for sexual records has been driven by a fascination with human anatomy and a desire to surpass societal norms. Researchers and authors have documented unusual sexual traits, such as the largest and smallest genitalia.
As of 2023, the longest penis in the world is 18.9 inches. On the other end of the spectrum, there have been reports of micro-penises, some measuring only 1/16th of an inch. Those extremes are both a vast difference from the average size of a penis, which is 5 – 6.5 inches in length and 4 – 5 inches in circumference, according to the Kinsey Institute.   
As a society, we know plenty about male anatomy, and we understand that penises come in different shapes and sizes. So, why would we assume the same isn’t true for female anatomy?
I was recently an Erotic Educator at the 2023 Electric Forest. There, I taught about the Erotic Blueprints course. The crowd there was most interested in learning more about the human body. For one exercise, I asked participants to look around the room and ask if any face looked the same? I explained that there is no part on our body that is the same for everyone. 

With that in mind, there should be no surprise that female anatomy comes in lots of different shapes and sizes. We are all different. So we should treat all parts of ourselves with love and compassion. It’s our duty to learn more about ourselves and our own personal anatomy. Let’s take a closer look at anatomy differences in the clitoris.  

Clitoral size has been documented to vary in different individuals. Here are a few that stand out the most in history.
Theo Lang mentions a woman with a two-inch clitoris that extends to three inches when full erect. A historical account from the eighteenth century mentions a woman with a seven-inch clitoris. Ultimately, the largest clitoris on record was 12 inches long. W. Francis Benedict mentions a 12-inch clitoris in the book, The Sexual Anatomy of Women.

I hate to admit it, but I did not learn until I was 50 years old that the distance between the clitoris and vagina opening is different for everyone. For most women, the distance between the clitoris and urethra opening (and vagina opening by proxy) is about 0.63 inches to 1.77 inches. And I’m sure there are people outside of those averages, too! 

Along with the distance between the vaginal opening and the clitoris glans, it’s good to also consider the size ratio between the clitoris glans and the clitoris hood. This can be different for everyone as well. The more unveiled the clitoris glans is from the hood, the easier it is to see and find. The amount of cover from the clitoris hood can also impact how sensitive the clitoris feels. 

7% of women say they always have orgasms. 27% of women say they never have orgasms. And the rest, are somewhere in the middle. 

The clitoris is a central part of female sexual anatomy and plays a crucial role in the sexual response cycle. Understanding and appreciating the clitoris can contribute to more fulfilling and pleasurable sexual experiences for individuals with clitorises and their partners.
The size and position of the clitoris can impact how easy it is to have a female orgasm.
As mentioned earlier, the amount the hood covers the clitoris glans can impact the level of sensitivity there. For those with a larger hood, they may need more vibration to stimulate the nerves there.
On a similar note, the size of the clitoris glans can also impact the female orgasm. Individuals with a larger clitoris experience increased sexual pleasure and likelihood of orgasm. There’s simply more nerve endings on the outside, making it easier to stimulate.  
Last but not least, the distance between the clitoris and vaginal opening makes a difference too. Several studies have found that the further away the clitoris and vaginal opening are, the harder it is to have an orgasm with penetrative sex.
Princess Marie Bonaparte, a French psychoanalyst, was actually the one that noticed this. Like many of us, she was fed up with her lack of orgasms during penetrative sex. Unlike many of us though, she decided to conduct a study on her patients!
She talked to her patients about how often they orgasmed and compared it to the distance between their clitoris and vaginal opening. Her research found that individuals with a clitoris and vaginal opening 2.5 cm (0.98 inches) apart or less, were more likely to orgasm. This ideal orgasm distance has been lovingly referred to as the “rule of thumb” since the distance between the tip of the thumb to the first knuckle is also about 2.5 cm. 

I personally learned a lot about the difference in female anatomy while studying Sexological Body work, and have done further research for this article.
I’ve always had empathy for females as more than 90% don’t have consistent orgasms. I’ve since grown to also have so much empathy for our partners. Even if our partners can find the clitoris, they may not know what to do with it since every body is truly unique.  

Studies show that the average penis size is different across several countries and races. WorldData.info claims that the average penis length ranges from 10.04 cm in Cambodia to 17.61 cm in Ecuador. (That’s about 3.95 inches – 6.93 inches respectively). The diversity in size based on race has also been seen in female anatomy. Studies have observed variations in clitoral size among different racial groups, with larger clitorises being more common in certain populations. 

The size and position of an individual’s female anatomy is based on how they were born.
Blame your parents, I guess.
The views towards the clitoris and its size also varies across different populations. For example, in Mangaia, the southern-most Cook Island, men were taught “to feel shame if he [failed] to bring his partner to orgasm” according to a Berkeley article. At the other extreme, the terrible act of female genital mutation is still common in several countries. This female genital mutation can come in the form of “clitoridectomy” which is the partial or total removal of the clitoris or hood. The idea behind the operation is that sex shouldn’t be pleasurable for women. 

The experience of each person is different. In the United States, there’s not much education on the clitoris or its impact on the female orgasm.
Why is this an issue?
Without education on the mechanics of the human body and mechanics of sex, many people might feel like something is wrong with them just because they can’t reach orgasm. I can’t speak on behalf of everyone, but I know I’m not alone in this experience.
For me, when I was when I was young, growing up with church, I had the desire to be a “good girl and wait” until my marriage to have sex. I got married not knowing much about myself or my own anatomy. As a young woman, I would ask my friends if they often had a female orgasm. Many claimed they experienced it every time. How much of that was the truth? I’m not sure to this day. Unfortunately, a lot of people lie about their orgasms. But at the time, it made me feel like something was wrong with me. 

I would read romance novels at that time. Often, the main character would find their pleasure and orgasm in chapter two. Meanwhile, I wouldn’t have that experience until chapter 15 in my life! Lots of time could have been saved with some understanding of my own body and anatomy. 

The exploration of sexual records throughout history reveals our curiosity about human anatomy and sexual practices. From the fascination with genital size to the quirky aphrodisiacs and contraception methods, humans have displayed a unique interest in sexual experiences.
It’s more than that, though. This information could really help a lot of lives and save a lot of relationships.
As we navigate the complexities of human sexuality, we must foster an environment of acceptance and education, celebrating the diversity of sexual experiences and anatomy while respecting individual choices and preferences. Embracing the wild and fascinating world of sexual records is an invitation to understand and appreciate the rich tapestry of human sexuality and cultural perceptions across time and space.
​This is the same reason I offer the Erotic Blueprint™ Course. This comprehensive course can enhance your relationship and release any concealed emotions of guilt, concern, or self-criticism that might exist about the most intimate parts of your body. This course offers a secure and enriching avenue to fulfill your profound, innate longings for genuine closeness and contentment with your partner. Now that you’ve learned more about your body, wouldn’t it be the best time to learn more about your Erotic Blueprint™ Type?